“Shooting the messenger” should be your last option. If your loved ones are being cheated upon by their S.O., and they have just no clue as to what the hell is going on in their life, you need to alert them on this issue. Initially, you just saw their S.O. walking hand in hand with some b*tch. Then you saw him having deeper connections with the b*tch, and now you just want to hang to death the cheater.
Before you shoot the sensitive news to your best friend, take care of certain things. Here are 5 guidelines to help you.
Trust your gut
Maybe, the S.O. just opened his account on Tinder to have fun with his friends and other around. Maybe, your bestie is just aware of the fact, and there’s no foul playing around. Or, maybe, their relationship is “open” and they keep open about dating other people. In this case, you might seem too nosey. Here is the guide. If the cheater is avoiding an eye contact with you or there’s something shady in his character, then it’s time to ring the bells. Trust your intuition.
Give the cheater a chance
You don’t want to run the risk of creating a drama scene in front of your friend. Talk first to the apparent cheater and tell him you spotted him someone else. Allow them to explain. If they hesitate, scramble to come up with a nice excuse, or just avoid having such a conversation, your confidence in your assumption can increase. If they can’t defend their actions, approach your friend yourself.
Do it face to face
Avoid texting her or sending her a mail or an SMS about this matter. Meet her up for a coffee at her place, with few people around and as little buzz as possible. Don’t go for noisy places like bars because your friend would need silence to process the hard bit of information. Be there to support them. Start gently, “I hope I wasn’t the one telling you all this but if I were you, I’d want to know,” etc.
Now back off
Don’t goad them to take any big decisions like breaking up etc. It’s entirely their responsibility. Once you have given her the details of the time, place, manner of the situation and provided sufficient evidence, you need to back off. Their first expressions might be childish, those involving denial, anger, madness etc. Tell them you are there for them. Make your presence known. But give her the space she needs to take the best decision for herself.
Afterward, keep it to yourself
Assure her, her sad love story won’t turn into a fodder for gossip. That’s a big relief for them amidst the chaotic situation. You need to not share a word with the fourth party. This will aggravate the already intense situation your friend is caught up with. Be there with your friend and keep your mouth shut!